Keys to a Blissful Marriage
Like delicate steps on a lawn of tender flowers, like a jazzy rhythm floating through a garden in the evening twilight. Sometimes so sweet and at other times tasting bitter. A future filled with hope and bright expectations but it could be like a difficult mathematical equation. Yet we move along trusting that our Lord and guide will see us through this journey that we have embarked on till death do us part.
Marriage is the oldest institution on earth, it started since creation, yet we learn more about it every day.
Adam was created to take care of the garden, so the man was created because a job had to be done, but Eve was created because Adam needed a companion. Eve was crafted from Adam for Adam, because he needed her. So the assignment of the man was the garden but the assignment of the woman was the man. To assist man so that he can effectively carry out his assignment the woman was created, Gen 2 v 18 .
It is important for every woman to realize that her man is her assignment. A wife is to minister to her man – bodily needs, food, comfort, sex, etc.
LET US CONSIDER THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
Myles Munroe said if you do not understand the purpose of something abuse will set in.
- The fundamental reason for marriage is to help man fulfill his DIVINE PURPOSE inlife. Adam got a purpose before he got a marriage. You need a wife for purpose to be achieved. Men who have caught this revelation will always involve their wife in their vision.
- Companionship: Psalm 139 v 14. we were fearfully and wonderfully made. God specifically wired us for companionship. Gen 2 v 18 – it is not good that man should be alone….. at His best Adam needed someone. The yearning for companionship is part of spiritual DNA.
- Procreation: Having children which will lead to humanity increasing.
- Pleasure: God created sex drive and made women beautiful.
- Purity: Sex should be within marriage.
NATURE OF MARRIAGE
Marriage is God’s best gift to mankind.
- It is the perfect type of relationship between human beings who were not hitherto related.
- Marriage is the unit and building block of society and marriage is God’s system of building people and society.
- Marriage is supposed to produce well balanced individuals who become achievers in life.
- Marriage has multiplier effect in outcome if it is a broken marriage, evil seeds and fruits spring forth and vice versa.
Marriage is a covenant, not a contract or any agreement. It is supervised by God and it is binding, only death can legally or spiritually separate. With the back drop of marriage being a covenant, you now realise the following:
- We must make it work?
- Issues or differences must be resolved.
- We need to seek for solutions.
KEYS TO A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE
Titus 2 v 3-5. God’s pattern for the Home and the woman.
- Be sober, love their husbands and children, self controlled and pure.
- Titus 2 v 5 – A woman must be able to and should endeavour to keep the home clean, prepare meals and create a good environment for the family.
- Obedient to their own husbands.
- Keep the flame of love alive, have pet names for each other.
- Be understanding with one another.
- Sensitivity to each other’s feelings rather than other people.
- Flexibility – e.g. joint bank account. Do what works best for you, but be open to one another.
- Trust; avoid jealousy or evil monitoring
- There should be sincerity and openness.
- Faithfullness is key
- Time alone together at least once a week.
- Husband, genuinely LOVE your wife.
- Ephesians 5 v 21 – Submission one to another – Ephesians 5 v 22- wives if you have to submit on an issue where you are right and your husband is wrong, God usually steps into the matter.
- Eph 5 v 23 – the man is the head period – no women or gender equality in marriage.
- PRAY TOGETHER
- Intercede for each other
- Words are powerful, Prov 18 v 21. Let wisdom control your words
LOVE LANGUAGE: Gary Chapman
- Words of affirmation: This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, how great the meal taste. These will boost your mate’s self image and confidence.
- Share quality time- go for lunch or dinner once a week, jog or walk together.
- Gifts – send a powerful massage of love, birthday anniversary is important to some spouses – do not make them feel neglected and unloved.
- Acts of service – cleaning the house, helping out, getting clothes from dry cleaners should be done with joy.
- Body language should be observed and positive.
- Be a ready listener – Prov 18 v 13
- Do not go to bed angry.
- Avoid heated disputes
- Be forgiving
- Avoid listening or entertaining gossip about your spouse
- Draw up a family budget. Prov 31, woman
- You cannot separate love from respect – Eph 5 v 28. provide an atmosphere of love and respect with your spouse, do not insult him/her especially where there are other people.
- Let there be effective communication.
- Get the right timing to discuss serious matters.
- Learn to listen to your partner and share each other’s view..
- Do not assume your partner knows when you are annoyed.
- Never refer to a matter which has been settled in the past
- Learn to say SORRY especially men.
A better marriage is possible. There should be mutual commitment to success especially knowing it is a covenant. Resolve issues as much as possible between yourselves, no third party.
Do not start reporting your spouse to your parent the way you were reporting your brothers and sisters when growing up. Never go to bed angry – it gives the devil time to work on your mind.
Use the sandwich method to resolve conflicts, begin by words of affirmation. State facts and end with assurances: You know I love you, I may be wrong but I want you to know how I’m feeling. This way your wife/husband will not feel threatened.
Do not start with statements like I am tired of this marriage. Words are powerful, Prov 18 v 21. Let wisdom control your words. Build Spiritual intimacy – pray together, do bible study together, fast together attend the same church prayerfully find a good one. Share spiritual struggles with one another before you share it with outsiders. Your dreams, your innermost feelings and thought. Set spiritual goals – fasting, giving to God’s work.
Your sex life is very crucial.
- Sex – man have the need for sex
- Woman have the gift of sex
- Be willing to meet your partners needs even if you do not understand them
- Wife should make herself appealing to the man
- Men should be patient with their wives.
- Read Christian literature that teaches about sex.
Prayer: Father! establish, restore and add joy to my marriage in Jesus name.
Pastor Busola Jegede